While driving to work one day, after a particularly trying day with my teens, I was listening to Focus on the Family and the host, Juli Slattery said "We are not called to produce Godly Children..." That statement alone perked up my ears thinking to myself..."really???" but then she continued to say "We are called to produce Godly fruit, be Godly mothers". BAM...the punch line.
I don't know about you but I have certainly had times when I look at my kids, the choices they are making, the character they are developing, or the relationships they are pursuing and I think "What am I doing wrong?"
Perhaps my problem is not so much what am I doing wrong but am I pursuing the wrong things? Am I so busy evaluating and judging my children and their walks with the Lord while all the while my relationship with the Lord is on the skids?
Some time ago, at a time when I felt very alone in my desire to parent spiritual children, the Lord gave me this verse, in a new and fresh way. "Delight YOURSELF in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart". Psalm 37:3-5 This verse popped into my mind when Juli spoke on the radio that day. Am I truly delighting in the Lord? Am I desiring the things of God in my own life? Am I depending on my children's salvation to dictate my joy or fruitfulness in the Lord?
To further emphasize this need she gave the example of how Jesus won people to His Father. He did not nag, put long lists of expectations before them, judge or condemn them. He did not use sarcasm, temper, or attitude to drive the point home. He did not continually remind his followers of their past sins. Jesus was attractive to the people He drew to Himself because He was living it...for real! He was living out the fruit that comes from abiding in His Father.
I think I most often skip the verses like "There is therefore now NO CONDEMNATION to those in Christ Jesus". (Romans 8:1) when it comes to raising my children. Not only are they condemned by me because of things I see in them that make me quiver but I also condemn myself because I feel like I am forever falling short of what they need to become passionate followers of Christ.
Our goal is not to produce godly children. That is the work of the Holy Spirit in them. Our goal is to produce godly fruit. As we abide in vine, becoming branches that bear much fruit, may our children "taste and see that the Lord is good".
